Legal requirements to getting married in Hawaii.

Hawaii has no residency, citizenship , blood tests or waiting periods.  Witnesses are not required. You must have a copy of your birth certificate if you are 18 and under,  over 19 you can use your drivers licence, passport or photo ID. Just to be on the safe side, bring your birth certificate.  If you are divorced, you must bring your divorce papers. The legal age to marry in Hawaii is 18, but with written consent of both parents, family court or legal guardians, you can marry at 16 or 17. 

Both man and woman must appear in person before the state license agent or the State Department of Health.  

You can download the form and take it with you.  You MUST have a licence from the state of Hawaii, they won't honor your hometown marriage licence. 
The marriage licence is good for 30 days  ONLY and you can use it on any of the Hawaiian islands.   You need to bring in $60.00 CASH for the licence fee as ATM's are not readily available on the premises.   You'll need an additional $10.00 if you want the certificate expedited home to you.  Otherwise, you'll have up to a 120 day wait.

To read more about getting married in Hawaii, click here.

        

Wedding Advice From Friends, Well Intentioned or Not?

Brides are bombarded with wedding advice from
everywhere and everyone. The net is full of
advice, bridal magazines offer advice, bridal shows,
and wedding professionals (moi included). This advice
is the kind you can tuck away for the future or
totally ignore.

Your family and friends are full of advice. This advice
is right in your face, so how do you deal with it?
Its hard to ignore someone who's telling you what
you SHOULD do when they are in your face.
Question: How do you draw the line from well
meaning advice to total annoyance?

What you hear: My wedding...blah, blah, blah.
I did it this way and you should do this..blah, blah.

What you may think they are saying:
My wedding is better than yours will ever be.

What they are really saying: I want to talk
all about my wedding so I can relive it again
and again. I want the spotlight on me.

So, what should you do? Smile, take the advice
with a grain of salt and let it go. There is no
reason to get upset, they may be very well
intentioned and they may really want to help.
They may actually have hit upon an idea that
is worth checking out. Or not.

When it gets to the point of annoyance,
say to them nicely " I haven't firmed up
that area yet and I'll take your suggestion
under consideration." And then change the
subject.

When Mom says " We did it this way" and
"I want it done this way", its time to let her know
that times have changed since her wedding. Things
are done differently, she's had her wedding. Tell her
that you've always dreamed of doing it another way and
would she please spend some time with you going over
your wedding plans?

Some Mom's wont let it go. If that's the case, have someone
she trusts talk to her about the wedding plans. It could
be Dad, . her best friend or it could be the consultant at
the bridal salon.

You are not under obligation to do things
THEIR way. You don't have to take their advice,
patronize their wedding vendors or use their advice.
Ultimately, this is YOUR wedding, and you get
to have your wedding, your way! Their wedding is history,
yours is now. Happy planning!

        

Wedding Day Beauty Starts With Great Skin

Cindy, our favorite skin guru who is also a
wedding makeup artist is sharing her expertise
on how to look fab-u-lous on your wedding day!



Weddingzilla: What is the number one thing that
brides can do to look beautiful on their wedding
day?

Cindy: Every bride needs to start a skin care
regimen in advance of the wedding. Great glowing
skin is THE number one beauty accessory. Great skin
is the palette that makeup artists use to do their magic.
We only have to enhance your features for the
photographs.

You have to cleanse your skin with a soft gentle
makeup remover morning and night. You need
to tone your skin with a skin toner to tighten your
pores and give your skin an even tone. You need to
moisturize your skin and moisturize under your eye
area to keep your skin supple and soft. Every few
days you need to use an exfoilant to clear away
dead skin and stimulate the skin. Once a week
you need to do a skin mask or masque. Masking the
skin makes a HUGE difference in the appearance of
smooth and healthy skin.

My customers like
philosophy

Dermalogica

Dr.Hauschka Skin Care Cleansing Clay Mask

and JOEY New York for lip plumpers and
fixes for eye bags that give instant results.

You can use witch hazel as an astringent toner. Use it
sparingly on your face with a cotton ball. It will tighten
the pores. You can buy witch hazel at your pharmacy.

If you really want to treat yourself before the wedding,
schedule a facial at a day spa several days before the
wedding. There is something about the hot steam treatments
and the hot towels that just do wonders for the skin.

Weddingzilla: What happens if you have a breakout
before the wedding?

Cindy: There are products that will zap the zit.
Peter Thomas Roth Acne Treatment Kit
gets raves from my clients. You have to use it in advance to
clear the skin and prevent breakouts.

There is a handy dandy device that will help with
blackheads and whiteheads Tweezerman Skin Care Tool

Heres my secret acne treatment, drink green tea! It helps
prevent acne breakouts. You can also dot the spot with a
cotton ball dipped in rubbing alcohol. Just be careful to use
the alcohol sparingly or it could irritate your skin instead of
drying the spot. DO NOT pick the spot, it could get infected.
Put a clean hot compress on the spot and then the alcohol.


Weddingzilla: What do you recommend for skin discolorations?

Cindy: There is a product called Meladerm that lightens
skin spots. It is especially helpful for Afro American skin.
Meladerm Skin Lightener - Natural skin lightening products
for fading age spots, sun damage, skin discolorations and
hyperpigmentation. The company will even let you try it
risk free for 30 days! It contains no hydroquinine and its
gentle on the skin. I've had great results with my clients.


Weddingzilla: How do you get long eyelashes without
having eyelash extensions?

Cindy: I use a product called LiLash. It is an eyelash
stimulator cosmeceutical product that is non irritating.
You apply it like eyeliner and start to see results in
2 weeks. The company is great, they guarantee you'll
get results.

Weddingzilla: Do lip plumpers work? I tried one
brand used by Hollywood celebs and I didn't get
the Hollywood results.

Cindy: Some do work and some only work as a lip gloss.
You won't get the same results as collagen, but the
results won't look as phony as collagen, either.
One that we've had success with is
DuWop Lip Venom 2nd Sin Lip Gloss
You'll get some tingling and stinging,
it is supposed to increase circulation to your lips which
will plump the lips.

        

Coping With Wedding Stress, How to Relax and Be Happy During Your Wedding Planning

Picture from the Brides of March

Wedding planning is stressful. Wedding
planning can cause the most laid back couple
to flare up and combust. When the wedding
is causing you to stress out and lose sleep,
its time to take action!

Remember, the wedding is a big party.
Its a celebration of the marriage of two people.
Its not a competition to have the best wedding.
Its a party. It's just a really BIG party.

Take a wedding planning break. Take a couple
of days off to decompress, relax and rejuvenate.
Spend quality time alone with your fiance and
make a pact that you won't mention the wedding. 
Rent a movie,  fix dinner together, relax and reconnect
and talk without any wedding talk.

Take a long walk in the sunshine with your dog.
Jump on the treadmill when the weather is bad.
Sign up for an aerobics class.
Take a yoga class. Not only will you learn relaxation
techniques, you'll elongate your body
and increase flexibility.

Read a book or magazine.
Take a bubble bath with candles and play soft music
so you can relax.
Give yourself a facial and pedicure.

Schedule a massage. Or better yet, schedule a couples
massage at a local spa. He's part of the wedding planning,
too, and if you are stressed, well, you get the idea!

Plan shopping day with your best friend along with
lunch in a hot new bistro.  Catch up with her life.

Sign up for a dance class.

Sign up for a ballroom dance class with your fiance
so you can dazzle the crowd at your first dance at the
reception. 

Swim at the Y.

Put on a strip aerobics or belly dance DVD.
Great cardio workout, more fun than doing
regular aerobics.

Go to the local park and swing on the swings. Take along
your iPod for the walking path, have a picnic and just
spend the afternoon being carefree.

When the stress starts up again, repeat the above.

        

Plastic Surgery For Your Wedding?

Would you get plastic surgery for your
wedding? The latest buzz is that brides
ARE meeting with plastic surgeons to be
perfect for their wedding day. The television news
had a sweeps segment on brides who are doing
surgery because they can.

Would you get plastic surgery for your
wedding? The latest buzz is that brides
ARE meeting with plastic surgeons to be
perfect for their wedding day.

The brides on camera chose breast augmentation as
the number one surgery. They also spoke
about rhinoplasty, botox and one even spoke about
having a Brazilian butt lift. One said she chose
liposuction so she "felt better" in her dress. Another
had a tummy tuck so she'd look good in her bikini.

People, these are real surgeries involving real doctors,
real pain and real time to recover. It also involves
real surgical risks. Remember Kanye West's mom?

I have no problems with dieting and cosmetic dentistry.
There's a big difference between teeth whitening and
a tummy tuck.

Instead of a tummy tuck or liposuction...how about
dieting and exercise? If the dress doesn't feel right,
have it let out. Instead of a bikini, wear a one piece
bathing suit.

Instead of breast augmentation, have your seamstress
sew in bra gel cups. They support, look natural and add
at least one cup size. There are ways to look busty in
a dress and its not a secret. Find a dress that enhances
your bust line. They are out there, your bridal consultant
can help you. Look for draping or rousching across the
bustline, accent your waist to draw the eye into an hourglass
figure. Its not rocket science.

Instead of visiting a plastic surgeon, visit a dermatologist.
Have a facial and a pedicure and get on a skin care
regimen. Drink lots of water so your skin looks fresh.
Get enough sleep so you don't look exhausted. Take
vitamins and take care of yourself.

Hire a make up artist to enhance your best features and
hide your flaws for the big day. Go to your hairstylist
in advance and practice hairdos, color and cuts. Nix the
gawdawful hair extensions because they look fake
in wedding photos.

Instead of baking yourself in a tanning booth, try a spray
on tan. If they can do it on 'Dancing With the Stars', you
can too. It will keep your skin from looking leathery and
aged. I've seen raccoon eyes from tanning booth
goggles and it looks strange in person and in the photos.
It also shows up wrinkles big time. Try Jergens Natural
Face Glow on your face for a naturally tanned look. The
best part? No wrinkles, just smooth skin and a soft color.

If you have back fat over the top of your strapless dress,
you don't need lipo. Your dress is too tight.

If your dress bunches at the waistline, you don't need lipo.
Your dress is too tight.

If you can't sit in your dress, you don't need lipo. Your dress
is too tight. Have your seamstress let out the dress, buy a pair
of Spanx and relax.

Use your head before you go under the knife.

But I really want to know: Would you have plastic
surgery for your wedding? And why? Or do you think
this is shallow? Please comment.

        

                  


As women, we spend all our wedding planning time
planning how WE and our female wedding party will look
on the wedding day. We don't think about our men
other than putting them in a tux. A tuxedo can take the
average looking man into the hunk category in less than
60 seconds. But sometimes they need just a bit more
help to really make them rock. Its HIS wedding, too!

Your man needs to be well groomed and looking hot on
his wedding day. Getting a facial or a manicure is not an
easy idea for a man to grasp. Unless you are marrying a
metrosexual, the average man is going to balk at your
suggestions that he hit the salon. He'll be afraid his
friends will rag on him.

Schedule a spa appointment for both of you before the
wedding as a special couples time.
Get your Spa Wish! A couples massage is not only relaxing,
but a chance for you to share in quiet time together and escape
from the wedding stresses. Then do a couples facial followed
by a manicure and pedicure. A mans mani~ pedi is soaking,
foot massage, buffing the nails, trimming jagged cuticles
and removing calluses. Getting the feet into beach shape,
making the finger nails look good for the pictures of the
ring at the wedding. And he's going to want to show off
his ring, too.



And please, please, no three days growth of stubble on
the wedding day. That is a fad that's going to pass and
your wedding pictures are for-evah. My photographer
connection confided that its hard to get a clear photo
of a man with stubble. The stubble just magnifies any
skin imperfections. That's a tip from a pro!

And for the biggest wedding beauty tip of all,
put a big smile on your faces. It costs nothing!

        

It happens, for one reason or another, a
wedding is canceled.   Sometimes it's for the
best, sometimes it causes great pain and grief.
And sometimes, things work out and the wedding
is rescheduled.

The first step is to take time to grieve the
relationship.  Regardless of whether it was your
idea and you know it is for the best, there is a
grieving process involved.   Go with it, pull yourself
together as best you can and have help from family
members or friends to  deal with the situation.

If the invitations are out, it will involve sending out
cancellation notices or use the good old grapevine.
You'll have to call people.  Split up the guest lists
between your family members and just do it. It won't
be easy, but you have to let them know there is no
wedding.  If the invitations haven't been sent, skip
this entirely.  The word will spread without you
having to do anything.

You'll need to notify your vendors.
The wedding reception site, the dress shop,
the cake baker, the florist, the photographer,
the DJ and other vendors involved in your wedding.
You will in all probability lose your deposits.
You'll have to read your contracts to see each vendor's
details.  Some vendors will refund some of the
deposit if they can find another wedding to fill the
date.  Others won't.   Wedding dresses are custom
ordered and you will have to take possession of the
dresses.  The manufacturers won't take them back
under any circumstances because they are custom
ordered just for you.

You can have your wedding dress preserved
or you can store it at home.   Turn it inside out,
hang it by the dress hangers so the dress doesn't
stretch,  and store it in a breathable storage bag
or wrap a white sheet around the dress.   Put in
in a place where there aren't any dramatic
temperature changes and the dress will be fine.
Or sell the dress.   If the memories are too  painful,
sell it and get it out of your life.

If you have non imprinted favors, you can sell them
along with other decorations.  Try Ebay or post on
an online  wedding board and you'll sell them.

If the invitations are printed, take them to a recycle
center.  Get them out of your life.   Seeing them will
only make you upset.n o

You and the groom's family will need to decide
on financial responsibility for the outstanding bills.
If the groom called off the wedding, etiquette says
that he is responsible for a portion if not all of the
bills.

And finally, to quote the nine times
married Zsa Zsa Gabor  "Give back
the ring, dahling, but keep the diamond."
And " I never hated a man enough to
give him back the diamonds".

        

I will be organized because an organized bride is the driving force with a well orchestrated wedding. I will buy or get a free wedding planner and keep it up to date.

I realize that this wedding is just not all about me. I will take into account my fiance's wishes and plans because this wedding is HIS wedding, too. I realize that a wedding is a blending of two families so I will try and keep family harmony and my sense of humor intact.

I will work within my budget. When I save money in one category, I can roll the savings into another category to get something I really want.

I will be reasonable in my plans. I don't need to outdo my friends or relatives weddings.

I won't make demands that can't be met.

I will be nice to my fiance's family because I 'm joining their family. I want to be welcomed with open arms. My new mother in law can be my best friend or worst enemy, the choice is mine. Regardless of how I feel about her, I will respect her because if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have my fiance.

I will take into consideration my bridesmaids financial situation when I ask them to pay for their dress, shoes, bridal shower, etc. I will choose the bridesmaid dress with their body shapes and budget in mind.

I will not talk about my wedding 24/7. I will not live, eat and breathe my wedding 24/7. Nor will I get upset when my friends and fiance don't want to hear about it on a daily basis.

I will not be a Bridezilla. I will not have temper tantrums, blow ups and be a drama queen. To find out if I'm turning into Bridezilla, I'll take the Bridezilla test.

I'll remember that its not about the wedding, that its about the marriage. The wedding is just a party, the marriage is real life. My life.

I will take well meaning wedding suggestions without getting angry or taking it as criticism. I will smile, tell them that I'll take it under consideration and then forget about it.

I will remember that when I talk nonstop about my wedding, that the person I'm talking to will want to talk about their wedding. Paybacks are fair play. If I don't want to hear about their wedding, I won't talk about mine.

I know that making a guest list is a give and take proposition and negotiations may be necessary between families.

I will interview vendors and ask for references before signing any contracts. I will not book a vendor just because they are the cheapest. I will check out their work before I sign anything. I will not be pressured into buying anything I don't want or need for my wedding. I will learn to just say no firmly. High pressure sales tactics usually mean I'm making a mistake. I'll take time to think, if I need the product or service, I'll be back.

I will not yell, scream and threaten my vendors. Any problems can be worked out in advance with a phone call and polite conversation.

I will call my vendors to check on my wedding progress before the wedding to make sure we are on the same page. This goes back to being organized.

When I get stressed out, I will take a wedding break. I will take a walk, a bubble bath or play with my dog. I will NOT call my fiance and cry. I will not melt down, I will keep things in perspective. Tomorrow is another day.

I will not demand a huge bridal shower or a big bachelorette party. I will be happy with whatever I get. The shower is not my problem, nor should I have anything to do with planning the shower. Its a party for me, and the less I know, the better.

I won't put demands on myself that I can't reasonably attain. I can't expect to lose 4 dress sizes in 6 months without a lot of sacrifice and stress. I will do what I need to do remembering that a dress is just a size to zip and the size is not plastered on the outside of my dress.

I will remember that the wedding will come to pass and I'll remain standing. So I'll smile, laugh and enjoy myself in the process. I'll maintain my sense of humor no matter how hard I have to try!

        

The holidays are a huge time for engagements. If there is a ring in your future or you just got a ring over the holidays, here's what you need to do to start the wedding planning.

Of course you're excited. You need to call everyone and shout it from the rooftops. Do what you have to do as far as announcing it, but put the brakes on immediate wedding plans. Take a week or two for the excitement to subside so you don't make any planning mistakes. Don't immediately rush out and sign contracts! Enjoy the moment!

You and your fiance need to set a date. Together. One that mutually will fit into your life.

You need to agree on a place. Whether its a church, a garden or a destination wedding, you need to discuss the location.

You need to define your wedding. Formal, informal, reception hall, event center, backyard barbecue.

 You need to set a budget and determine who is paying for what part of the wedding. Don't assume your parents are willing to foot the bill for a fairytale extravaganza or that his parents are going to host the rehearsal dinner, provide the liquor and pay for the honeymoon. Talk to your parents individually to see what, if any, financial help they are willing OR able to give.

Attend bridal shows. January and February are the prime time for bridal shows. This will give you a chance to do a face to face with all sorts of wedding vendors. Bridal shows offer discounts for bookings either at the show or by making an appointment after the show. You can compare florists, DJ's, makeup artists and more. Look at the wedding dresses in the show. Make appointments to interview vendors. You SHOULD take the time after the show to look at photographer's and florists' portfolios BEFORE you sign any contracts. If its a caterer, make an appointment for a tasting. Make an appointment to try on wedding dresses.

Get references. Ask for names of previous customers. Ask your friends who just got married if they would recommend their vendors. Call the Better Business Bureau.

 Realize that weddings take time to pull together. While I am advocating NOT jumping into any contracts or being pressured into a purchase, you also need to order your wedding items or book your vendors in a timely manner. You'll need to order your wedding dress at least 6 months in advance. Wedding dresses have a lot of hand beading that takes time to produce. They are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike. Many vendors are booked in more than a year in advance. Don't expect everyone to be available for you in an instant's notice.

PLAN AHEAD! Make a decision, cross it off your list and to on to the next item at hand. Once you've settled on a wedding item, stop shopping and purchase it. Don't second guess yourself. Don't even think about changing your mind. Your first impulse is usually the correct one. If you are making a horrible mistake, someone ,whether it be a family member or your wedding vendor, will tell you its a mistake. I would never let anyone walk out of my bridal shop in an unflattering dress or blend horrible colors for the bridesmaids. I'll tell you upfront that its wrong.

If a vendor is high pressuring you to buy, RUN! There is a national wedding dress chain that is notorious for high pressure sales. The sales consultants are commission and under pressure to sell. Not a week goes by where a bride doesn't come in and tell us of her regret for buying her wedding dress under pressure. Don't knuckle under to pressure by any vendor. If time is a constraint, they may be telling you the truth. You can't magically produce a dress, but if you have 6 or more months, don't cave to pressure.

PS CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! Comments or questions? Fire away!